When we think of bullying, we typically envision the kid stealing lunch money or shoving their peer to the ground at recess. Sure, these are the most common depictions of bullying in pop culture, but bullying doesn’t end when we graduate high school. So how can we handle adults who bully us?
When our partner, friend, or loved one does something that “smells” like past wounds, our defenses go up. The fear of repeating the past comes out looking like anger. Even though we are wanting to be close with our loved ones (spouses, children, friends, and neighbors), old wounds — both emotional and physical — often stand in the way.
We place our partners outside of an unbreakable wall of silence when we are not emotionally available. It’s hard to trust the fella on the other side of wall if he refuses to open the door. A lasting and durable trust can only built when both people are inside the walls.
Some stress is necessary to motivate us to act. Think about the stress you might feel while preparing for a test. It can motivate you to study hard do well on the exam. However, too much stress can interfere with our daily life and performance and can lead to long-term health issues.
For all people, how we handle challenges has a lot to do with our ability to be resilient. Resiliency is like a rubber band, the more resilient you are, the springier your rubber band and the quicker you are able to rebound from a difficult event. As we continue to stretch our rubber band over and over as we go from pandemic to home schooling to natural disaster, the harder it has become for the rubber band to regain its original shape.
It is known that survivors of natural disasters have a 30 to 40 percent chance of suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). One thing that can be done to counteract the long-term mental health effects of a disaster is to seek help early and to talk about the experience with professionals that are trained to help.
Children want to feel that they are part of a family — that they belong just as much as any other family member biologically related or not. They want to feel included as if they were always meant to be there, not as if they are lucky to be there.
Kids do not know how to communicate their experience. They do not know how to explain the survival strategies that have become normal for them, but are so obviously wrong in this new home. It can be exhausting to navigate.
It is important to keep in mind that everyone reacts differently to stressful situations. Whether you feel anxious or numb, your emotions and reactions are completely valid. Even those who have never struggled with a clinical mental health issue may experience symptoms of acute stress, anxiety, and depression.
Your brain is doing what it is wired to do: protect you from life-threatening danger. The brain does a marvelous job helping your body to react quickly and know to fight, run, or freeze when needing to escape a threat. The trick is — how often are we in situations where we need to run for our lives? On a day-to-day basis, probably not very often.
Feeling Safe
I feel safe at CFS. I know the staff is professional and understanding and that my thoughts and feelings will be heard and are valid.
Building Strength
My treatment at CFS has helped me find the ability to continue on through a horrible time. The office staff always greets me with a smile, that’s great.
Embrace New Ideas
It’s great to have someone to talk through my thoughts and feelings with — to get things out into the universe and have a neutral party help me learn how to process, try new things, embrace different ideas.
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