Category: Overcoming Trauma

suicide is painful
Overcoming Trauma

Suicide is Painful

As the stress of life and living in the world continues to build, you may have wondered if it’s worth it to continue. Trauma, tragedy and grief can become so overwhelming that your brain brain does not know how to make sense of it. Sometimes even day-to-day living can just seem like too much. It may seem like suicide is the only way to end the pain. If you have lost a loved one to suicide, the pain you have felt as a result shows that suicide does not bring relief from pain – in fact it adds to the pain and suffering in the world. Suicide is painful no matter what. Would the world be better without me? For anyone considering whether the world would be better off without them, the answer is simply no, it would not be. There is a path to take out of the darkness. Often, it is masked by the confusion brought on by stress, depression, and other mental distress. This path acknowledges that a life characterized by pain and suffering may not seem to be worth living. BUT, instead of ending your life, you choose to live, while reducing or eliminating the sources of pain and suffering. This may seem obvious, but it is not obvious to someone who is considering suicide. And if it is not obvious to you right now — that is ok, that’s why we’re here. Reach out for help. People DO care. If you are one of the many considering suicide right at this very moment, please just take a second to consider reaching out for help. You may not be seeing the full picture as a result of your state of mind. Your mind is only showing you part of the picture right now – the painful one. Not everything is your fault, and there is a path forward that brings some relief. But it is not only relief that you deserve. You also deserve joy, happiness, excitement, and love — and they can be found on this path as well. The potential to experience positive emotions is still in you and can be activated, as soon as you make the choice to continue living. Suicide is never painless. Not only in terms of the inevitable physical pain involved in the act, regardless of methods, but also as a result of the profound grief experienced by those who loved you and have to keep living without you for years to come. Life may not feel worth living right now, and if not, then I know you are in pain. I know that pain is real. It’s hard to see through the fog, but it gets better. You may not be seeing the full range of possibilities through the fog. In fact, you may be reading this right now and finding a way to disagree with everything written. Nevertheless, I am writing this to encourage you to reach out for help and remind you that your life matters,

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Offering Support Suicidal Ideation
Parenting and Kids

Offering Support For Suicidal Ideation

Suicide is in no one’s go-to method of dealing with a problem, so if they are experiencing suicidal ideation, chances are that they tried their best to come up with other solutions and haven’t been able to.

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Boundaries
Parenting and Kids

Understanding and Enforcing Boundaries

The truth is, establishing and enforcing your boundaries is an act of kindness. It prevents you from having the feelings of resentment or annoyance toward people important to you. It also allows you to respect your own needs which in turn create a healthier you.

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Foster care
Parenting and Kids

How to Support Children in Foster Care

Mental health disorders tend to be prevalent in foster families, either biologically or due to stressful environmental factors. Some studies indicate that update to 80% of foster children suffer with significant mental health disorders.

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ACEs
Parenting and Kids

What are ACEs and How Do They Impact us?

“Is it possible that what I just did or said to my child had more to do with my needs, my fears, and my upbringing, than what is really in their best interest?” How a parent interacts with their child can have a lifelong impact extending far beyond childhood. While we would like to think that our impact is always positive, the reality is that sometimes it can have negative side effects. This is where ACEs come in. So, what are they? ACEs Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs, categorize childhood trauma into 3 areas: abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction. The results of these unhealthy interactions can show up down the road in mental health struggles, unstable attachment styles, and low self-esteem. But what does “unhealthy” actually mean? Well, the short answer is this: it depends. Each individual experiences different situations in their childhood, adolescence, and in adulthood. This graphic, from the ACEs Facebook page, does a really good job of identifying some key ways that parents damage their relationships with their children. But, why? Now that we’ve identified the “what”, it is natural to wonder “why”. Many times, childhood trauma is a pattern repeating itself from the generation(s) before. This includes untreated mental illness, abuse, and more. Additionally, people may not have had appropriate role models to demonstrate what it looks like to meet physical and emotional needs of those dependent on them. “Well, my parents didn’t tell me they loved me and I turned out just fine.” While that may be true, think of all the untapped potential within you as a result of that. The answer to that “why” question is something we might never know. Lack of answers often come from our parents not having the awareness. Perhaps they aren’t aware that they did anything was wrong or unhealthy. And if they do have the awareness, they are unsure of healthier alternatives. People often resort to things they have learned. This is why it’s so easy for things to be transferred generationally. It may seem like I am making excuses for parents who do not meet the needs of a child, but that is not my intention. When the cycle is broken, those responsible should be held accountable for their actions, or lack thereof. That accountability can come in the form of conversations, boundaries, separation or distance. Negative Impacts Now, let’s circle back around to the negative effects that I keep talking about. ACEs can result in things that become our core beliefs. In other words, what we truly think and feel about ourselves. These are likely to show up during adolescent and adult years. Though this list is not all encompassing, here are a few examples of those beliefs: Feeling like you don’t belong Struggling to trust people Thinking that people will leave you Having big emotional reactions to (seemingly) small things Feeling not good enough Thinking that romantic relationships are always really hard work Struggling to say no Feeling angry about the past Struggling with

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